Thursday, June 18, 2015

Insufficient

If you come with me
You are to be trusted
with the greatest burden of all
a life I do not want
and I do not appreciate
and I therefore have to give to the whole world
and not to you
Because you are to be my core
That will replenish the energy
that gets stolen

There is no madness in my mind
Just in my heart
So inadequate to embrace
all that I want.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Crystalline

The things on my desk. I don't know where they go. Where can I fit all those things?
My mind is like my desk. Uninviting, unsafe... unreliable. 
I had a plan, which got interrupted, like it always does. 
And then I had a choice. 
I could make a new plan. A plan I would not have to carry on my own. A plan that would regenerate the light that I have nowadays lost. A plan that would briefly make me escape. But I can't escape. I always find myself wanting to work it through. But you can't work through what I have. Or maybe you can, but I don't think I can. Because I always find myself flirting with these ideas that I claim I have overcome. But do you really ever get over it? I don't think you do.

And what I try to deny is that maybe, just maybe, what I, still, really want to escape, is life itself. For I can embrace its simplicity and its complexity all at once, and it becomes so overwhelming and fulfilling, that everything else seems small. So small that I can overcome it without effort, and reach this state which I do not know how to share with the rest of the world, or maybe I do not want to share. And I've tried, and I never come through. 
So where do I fit in?