Monday, October 16, 2017


But I feel I grow old
not older

and I get tougher
Instead of stronger

and uninterested
instead of patient

I demean
instead of rationalize 

and every step of the way
I am no longer amazed
only rarely surprised

I am no longer a child
but this cannot be what "adult" means either

And I do not remember
when I began
fitting in
so well

I believed I was round 
but I have edges
and this time they don't hurt 
but maybe others 

and I feel fine

and that is the worst part

Wednesday, October 11, 2017


Nowadays we share nothing
but space 
I remember how easily we exhanged
empty promises
that now float around us
I do not feel
but I feel like
I had to become shallow
in order to fit
in this reality 
an abudance of people
sharing your love
playing their roles
you never made me smile
except for
the days when I dreamt
how it would be to be with you
but I didn't know 
it would hurt 
and I never knew
that you would want to 
kill me
and I never imagined that I would want to

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Bedtime stories

You hurt
like a broken bone
or an open wound
I chase after
what I think you are offering me
and then you take it back
or at least I think you do
Sometimes I see a silver lining,
but it's not enough
I'd like a silver sky
and right now I wish it would stop raining
but after all
it's autumn here 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Amitié Extraordinaire

I had a little friend
we used to dance all night
to pop melodies
try to sing like the tall pretty girls

our nights were filled
with chocolate and pineapples
we used to cut the world
and glue it back together
hang it on walls
look at it and laugh
we used to write stories
lock ourselves in bathrooms

my little friend grew bigger
and all of that slowly faded away
but we would still share
 15 dreams
15 secrets
15 years that created
but inside these 15 years

I found more than a million reasons
to love you
and want you to stay
but wherever you go
if you are closer to reaching for the stars
that is enough for me

we will always find someplace to dance

Monday, July 31, 2017


You are chocolate ice cream
and sour cherries
you are a silver lining
in a very dark sky
you are a link
to everything that was innocent.

You are someone I would hurt
over and over
until you turned grey
until you'd lose your shine.

You are one of the best things
that ever happened to me
as non poetic as this sounds
I cannot express it otherwise
Letting you go
makes me feel lost

and I don't think I ever can
and I don't think I ever will

you grew roots
inside of me
and every once in while
a flower blooms
and I find peace

Thursday, June 8, 2017


I will never demand
but if you decide
to offer me
please don't take it back;
for I have been deprived
of the simplest things
as have all of us
But I cannot bear
to hold on to
frivolous words
of no value
to you
that mean the world
to me;
because the pages cannot be erased
only torn apart
and I already feel old 
and I think
once again
of burning
the book

Wednesday, May 31, 2017


People form connections.
Little molecules of madness intertwine.
Atoms of restlessness and elements of pursuit collide
and find place in another person.

The soul will dance
with whomever it wants to dance.

People are eternal.
Moments are not fleeting,
they are not trivial,

I know what makes your heart sing
I wrote the song

and I prefer your winter
to anyone else's spring

Monday, May 15, 2017

Reality writhes

You are the love of a million lives
but all of them wither away
and I really wish
I knew
how to stay alive 

but I end up alone
in this space you made for us

I just wanted to dance with you

You promised to be there
but something happened

Now watch 
as I become heavy again
You have to be careful 
with people
and which of their flames you are trying to put out
because you might end up quenching them 
and lose the person
that used to be 

and I really wish I knew
how to stay

Thursday, April 13, 2017

A time to be alive

There is nothing more honest
and raw
than young love
the way a mind desires
when it is
and unforgiving

there is no such thing
to hinder your scale
you only keep what you want
you do not weigh

Wednesday, April 12, 2017


So I grow cold again
Because no matter how warm I was
I could never melt into your arms
Except for the times we would die
Into each other
The way we wanted to

Why did you come back?
Were you afraid,
that I would forget?
Afraid that if my memory of you
fades away,
you would cease to exist?
Or were you certain?
Certain that I would have changed.
That I would no longer be the girl you fell in love with...
Certain because you have changed.

What you used to find mediocre is now your reality.

Or did you come back thinking you could claim your soul back?

Do you exist in this space alone now?
In the space we created with so much effort?

Could I still be here?

Wednesday, March 8, 2017


I thought that I would be cold today, and that my dress was too short.
I wore a long jacket.
It's a shame that I bite my nails.
Thinking is half an action. Or a quarter of an action. Or maybe an inch of an action.
I don't know how long an action is, so I'm not sure if an inch is less than a quarter.
I guess it depends on the thought. The extent of the action. The extent of the consequences.
The consequences are everything. It's weird how everything is connected. How every little thing you do makes or alters events. Little events. How the road where you took a turn might have saved or killed someone.
To be obsessed about every little thing or reach a state of indiferrence, because, really, nothing is under your control.
What is the appropriate level of caring. Is it really care?
Why would you baptise your selfishness as care?
I want to be pure. I don't want to think about things I wouldn't do.
I don't want my actions to carry the burden of alteration, just because my insticts weren't appropriate.
Are my insticts really my insticts? Or just something I was taught?
Am I me or a product of reactivity?
Blabber, blabber, blabber.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The year of the radio: Billboard

The soil was soft
the flowers blossomed
the rain poured
it was spring in our hearts

we sang all night

"There's something above me,
a girl with one eye,
a stranger,
who's always 
in trouble
who touched my soul
ever so lightly"

It was our song;
it felt like forever
since the beginning
we had everything;
and that was all we ever wanted.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

The year of the radio: The charts

There's not much left to do
other than dissolve into trivial concepts
what ifs;

Nowadays I sleep with the lights on
I experience this loss;
I loved you terribly
and selfishly
As did you.

Now I am left bitter
by the end of our sea
and I really didn't know
that an ocean could be so small.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

It stops there

I love you, 
but I need to mourn
I need to mourn
a life that is not mine
I need to mourn
for I am blessed
but I cannot see;

the forests in my eyes
they are wild and growing
a huntsman lost himself in them
I have to find him
I have to get him out
You cannot help me
I love you 
but I need to mourn

but don't worry
I can make a promise

that one day

from that tallest tree
I will search beyond the sea
And I might find you
however far
you may be waiting
for me.

For now
I love you
but I need to mourn

Monday, January 2, 2017

The year of the radio: Rising numbers

It's time to hear the story
in all its long lost glory,

a good catch
a horrible mismatch;

It is a tale that's quite depressing
a union without a blessing

but you shouldn't have to worry
the memories are quite blurry;

Just a soul that sought the truth
another looking for itself to soothe.

It's the lies you tell yourself to sleep
that lead you to a love that's cheap,

much like the one in this old story
that is also almost gory.