Penultimate

Sometimes people leave you
and it is not always as clear as
an ultimatum

sometimes you experience the pain
of seeing them drift away
and think that you can pull them back
but you can't

I remember the first days
we would sleep with the lights on
and music
I understood you were alone
you had been for a long time
I wish I could have filled that gap
so you wouldn't need to wander off
and beg for it
in empty homes
but I didn't
I always think about what I did
and what I could have done
but then
I think about what you could have done
and realize you never wanted
to give me everything
or you couldn't
and I make one more step away from you
because I really wanted to give you

everything.